Hey folks! I wonder if y’all are still following, or what you’re doing. So many things happened in the last years. Since I had COVID at the end of 2022, I was struggling with severe fatigue, heart palpitations, digestive issues, depression and worse.
I didn’t shoot porn in 2023 and 2024. Only when I went to Japan for a Working Holiday in 2025, I slowly came back to life. I shot a few clips, about one per month and am finding my way to living. Slowly. I’ve also went back to real anal stretching finally!! I’m always very careful, cause I don’t want to risk bleeding, as that would mean to wait longer and in retrospect, be even slower.
I got to know a very nice person in Japan, her name is @nepinepi (on Fansly and X). I almost got double fisted again last year and it felt illegal. It just felt like a feeling one shouldn’t be allowed to feel… Like something would be too much, or so. I don’t know! With her partner, we triple fisted her. Wow, crazy. I, … I didn’t know what humans can do. Of course I saw videos like that on the net. But I just thought, holy crap that’s insane, I’ll never feel or see that in real life haha. Well but then it happened. And I still can’t believe what I experienced. There’s also a video of us two fisting on Fansly!
After the session, I put on a diaper as the Japanese girl’s boyfriend’s self-made relaxing lube (in Japanese it’s called Lotion btw) was kinda numbing my muscles, so that all the lube was flowing out by itself over time. I was clean, so there was no poopoo. But I didn’t want to go eat sushi with a wet pants. Haha. After putting on the diaper, we drove in a cute small Japanese Kei Car to Sushiro and had dinner. I was still scared during dinner, because intense sexual experiences and all the chemicals involved (lubes, silicones, numbing agents, whatever) always make me feel confused / insecure. To be hoenst, I am not even sure how often I am able to think straight nowadays. Guess I just got queer. Ahah. pun intended
Thank y’all for your continued support!!! Even though I lost most of my subscribers and only have about 10-30 spread across these stupid platforms. But still, that many of you kept watching my old clips, it means a lot to me!
Speaking of platforms, I HATE THEM! You know, FapHouse deletes all clips with toys that look a little bit like an animal penis. Even if they’re not.
XVideos/XNXX has been super restrictive within the last years. They Built this new fan platform sheer.com, but it really doesn’t work that great. In the beginning they demanded us creators to promote sheer.com using trailers, now they forbid it, probably because they earn much more when fans subscribe via XVideos Red (50%) instead of Sheer (20%). So yea, here we go again, platforms don’t want to give the money to the ones who do hard work. Oh btw, FapHouse isn’t any better with their fake 80%. They claim to pay 80% to creators, but suddenly it’s only 64% due to some additional fees. Stripchat? Also about 50% fees.
Yes, there’s Fansly. It’s the only platform that stays loyal to creators and they’re keeping 80% payout. But the visibility is an issue and you need to promote it like crazy to actually gain an audience. You can be lucky using the FYP (For you Page), but you need to have algorithm luck.
The most important thing is to enjoy what you’re doing. I’m not so sure if I do that. Since 2017, I was pissed about the industry. About having a separate bank account for porn because I’m scared they’d close my main account. About Chaturbate forbidding large toys. During my first live streams back then they shut down my stream. Same happened over and over in 2020/2021 until I switched to Stripchat / FistingLive. But then the OnlyFans Drama, AVN Stars shutting down, XVideos/XNXX behaving like they own the world and severely underpaying their creators, PornHub not presenting my videos anymore and demonetising accounts that haven’t uploaded a 5min+ video in six months, XHamster disallowing promotion of other websites than FapHouse in the Ad Revenue program.
JUST FOR REAL?! Imagine YouTube would demonetise all creators COMPLETELY who link to their Patreon!!! Or to their Instagram or X! IMAGINE!!! But it’s happening in the porn industry and I am so sick and tired of this whole industry for real.
On the other side, I’m way too deep in that industry to shut down everything and start something all new. I mean I’m obsessed with fucking oversized dildos and fisting!
I started, cause I enjoyed wrecking my ass. I liked the feeling. And in the end I feel like a slave earning the Benz and Porsches for those fucking crooks. And I’m barely able to survive, not being able to pay rent or health insurance. Yes ofc I’m not working enough. I’m not deep enough. Whatever. I’m going my pace and slowly finding my way back to life. I can be happy to have a dad who pays for my insurance and that I can live in his house ’till I am self-sustainable again.
I hope to be more independent one day again. Independent from my family, from platforms and the exploitative system that we live in.
Let’s not forget to be politcally DEEP during these times as well.
FREE PALESTINE
FREE GAZA
FREE IRAN
FREE LEBANON
FREE KONGO
FREE CHINA
FREE RUSSIA
FREE EU
FREE THE USA
FREE ALL OTHER FOLKS FROM THEIR OPPRESSIVE STATES
FIGHT FASCISM
FIGHT PATRIARCHY
FIGHT HIERARCHY
FIGHT EVANGELICALISM
FIGHT CATHOLICISM
FIGHT OLIGARCHY
FIGHT CHRISTIAN ZIONISM
FIGHT GREATER ISRAEL
FIGHT AI DATACENTERS
FUCK ARMAGEDDON
FUCK THE BIBLE
JESUS WON’T SAVE US!
TAKE CARE OF YOUR DIGIMON!